soul crushing guilt
At age 16 I became a parent, after being shamed by fundamentalist anti-choice activists, going through the judicial bypass since I wasn’t old enough to make the decision myself, a mandatory waiting period, and trying to raise enough money to pay for the procedure myself, which was impossible in the short time frame for me working a part time low wage job. I never want any other young person in this country to experience the stress of trying to obtain a medical procedure, or be forced to carry a pregnancy, birth a child, raise a child in poverty, and experience the soul crushing guilt that I feel every day in not being able to provide the life for my child that they deserve.
save my life
In 2018, I needed an abortion to save my life. I had an ectopic pregnancy which are non viable and life threatening. In the time between diagnosis and surgery I was instructed to not be alone in case my fallopian tube ruptured and I began to bleed out. Abortion access is so important because in that short time I did not need to make a plea to the state or the courts in order to get permission for this abortion. I was able to make a decision with my doctor and get the immediate care I needed.
only choice for me
I had an abortion when I was 18. When I saw the two lines on that little stick, I knew that was the only choice for me. I had no desire to be a mother, no desire to carry a pregnancy. And yet, it wasn’t a decision made lightly. But it was my choice to make. The procedure was easy. In 1998 the abortion pill was much less common, so I did have to have a D&C. The staff was so caring and I was so thankful for what they did. I felt like my whole life was ahead of me again. And here, 22 years later, I ponder where my life would have ended up if there had been no Roe. What lengths would I have gone to end my pregnancy? And I realize I would have done anything, even at the expense of my own safety. And that’s why I’m advocating for abortion access. Because I realize that not having legal access to abortion isn’t going to stop abortion. It’s going to stop safe ones. I want the young women that surround me at rallies to have the same safe and accessible options that I did decades ago. We can’t go backwards.
So many Possibilities…
I had an abortion almost 50 years ago, when I was single, with a college education but no clear direction for my life. Having a baby would have closed off so many possibilities, and tied me to a role (motherhood) I never wanted. I had a tubal ligation a few months later, and have never regretted either decision. I went on to get a graduate degree and a rewarding career, and got married at 40. No one should be forced to have an unwanted baby, or one she cannot afford to raise. No one should be condemned for choosing to have an abortion or traumatized by the process of getting one. Looking back, at age 75, I appreciate the opportunities and good fortune I have had, and thank the dedicated advocates whose work gave us Roe v. Wade. I will continue the fight to make abortion accessible, affordable and acceptable for anyone who chooses it.
A Lonely Experience
I am in a long-term, healthy relationship with my partner of 12 years. I had an abortion during the pandemic after our birth control failed. It was a lonely experience, not because I questioned my decision, but because the culture we live in and my family of origin is hostile to abortion-care. I advocate for abortion because I want to live in a world where all parents are willing parents and where all people have an ability to control their own future/destiny.”